On the 8 in '09

One of the first thoughts I had as I boarded the number 8 bus to my office this morning is that I had no idea what to blog about today. None. So I decided to read instead of worry about it. I like to consume little bite sized bits of reading on the bus. Pieces that can occupy a bus ride and be complete. I tend to read Parabola when I get it, but that only lasts about a week or two. Right now I'm reading the winter edition of tricycle, which is a quarterly containing all kinds of Buddhist writings.

It's been a good read, but none of it has compared to what I read today: Not Found, Not Lost by Joel Agee. People occasionally ask me "Why Buddhism?" or some variant of that question. I occasionally answer well. Usually I bumble around and stumble over my words. Then I usually end up asking myself - why Buddhism? I can almost always answer myself. One day, I hope to be able to write something as succinct and beautiful as that piece. Then, I will just point to it. For now, I will point to Mr. Agee's work instead.

I don't want to summarize the article. In fact, I already tried and failed. I will just point out the two parts that really stood out to me. After many, many years of spiritual search, Agee stumbles onto the website of Peter Fenner. Peter offers over the phone counseling, and Agee relates their first conversation. The conversation is a breakthrough, not so much for what is said, but for what is not said. By the end Agee is left sitting on the phone content, saying nothing, needing nothing. I can relate to some very few interactions I've had with other people where there is no tension, just being. It's a beautiful thing.

Agee has several more sesison with Fenner along the same lines, and eventual arrives at something resembling what we might call lasting peace. He talks about applying his epiphany to the banality of everydayness. He closes with a simple passage, that, to me, sums up to purpose of Buddhism, and points simply and concretely at true enlightenment.

Sometimes I sit on a cushion for short or long periods of time. A person entering the room might think I am meditating and apologize for the distrubance. But that's not what I'm doing. I'm just sitting.